Call Of The Fairway Gifts

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

Tee for Two!

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Golfers lost on the road

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

I warned you to keep it low!

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

Caddy With A Cool Box

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Golf

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'What a divot?'

'D'ya wanna wait until it thaws to see if it drops in the hole.'

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'