Call Of The Fairway Gifts

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

Tee for Two!

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

Golfers lost on the road

I warned you to keep it low!

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

Hit by a golf ball and injured...

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

Golf

'What a divot?'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Caddy With A Cool Box

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'D'ya wanna wait until it thaws to see if it drops in the hole.'

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'