Jokester Of The Fairway Gifts

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Cleaning the Horse

'Has anyone seen my contact?'

No Hand Signals

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

"That was a stupid place to put the lawn mowings."

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

Ace Novelties

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'Vodka!'

'As soon as the ball reaches the green, I swoop down and steal it: I just love the look on their faces!'

'It's no good telling me to eat my grees, Mum. You know I'm colour blind.'

'Dinna play golf in your kilt.'

"I thought we said no presents!"

'The men are wondering...If we knock up four power stations this week, can we have next week off...?'

'We may have done better if the jockey had carried the horse round!'

The game requires no great physical strength...

'You know the rules Fanshawe ----both bloody feet on the floor'

'Finally I experienced runner's high. I put scotch in the water bottle.'

'I don't care that you slept with him, Clare, buy how dare you laugh at his jokes!'

Goalie with oversized gloves.

'Water hazards are no problem if you play golf in the winter.'

'Now that should make it a bit easier.'

'Does it have a little red dot on it?'

'it wasn't a trap when he first started trying to hit the ball!'