Fairway Prankster Gifts

'We do not tee off in front of the markers. This is my second shot.'

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

'Not that slowly back...'

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

Hit by a golf ball and injured...

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"It was a professional hit..."

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

World Cup Football Enthusiasm!

'The manager tol us not to let the other side see the ball and that's what I'm doing!'

'The bite was great but you forgot to clutch your face and fall to the ground waving an imaginary card...'

Sent to the corner on school sports day.

Bowled out.

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

"O.K., now, when a teacher comes out, everybody look straight up."

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

'As soon as the ball reaches the green, I swoop down and steal it: I just love the look on their faces!'

Suddenly, on the 18th tee at Augusta, Leonard whales on his air guitar right in the middle of a backswing.

Everything was fine until Becky's little sister decided to skip double.

When Paul finally emerges, his partner is gone, and he is left to finish the round with a cooler of beer all to himself and no one to catch him cheating.

Footballer uses the ref's foam to shave.

'...But Dewey here just won't let it go. So he tells Vern, 'Ok, I triple-dog-dare you to stick a putter in your ear'...'

'Not only does this car park itself, but if it dents the car behind it, it leaves a note with the wrong phone number. Just like I do!'

Bully playing conkers with a computer.

A Loyal Dog's Escape From The Parking Meter.

For Your Dog

'Don't look at me...'

'Deposit $1.00 - This is your final notice before we send it to a collection agency.'