Call Centre Operator Gifts

"Like I said, your own little office."

'Bad career moves, number 53'

"We are experiencing unusually high call volumes. Your estimated wait time is twenty minutes."

Man calling Stop smoking help line

'What's the number to ring to register my 'don't know' vote?'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I see the downsizing continues."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

"Hello?"

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

Thermidor Dali

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

The Communicator

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'I hate my life.

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"