Call Centre Worker Gifts

'This call may be monitored for training purposes or just to keep our staff amused.'

'My snake went to work in one of those call-centres.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'Me? Aye were en ah coll centerrr...'

'My son's a telemarketer and STILL he doesn't call.'

'My Mom was a call girl - and retired after 20 years at the phone company.'

Post future today

'Who do we know in India?'

'Thank you for holding. By the way, what were you holding.'

Headphones Strip 3: Here's to retirement

Headphones Strip 10: Coffee machine

'Thank you for calling the Corned Beef Marketing Board. Press 'hash' now.'

"There's not much call for 'the smiting of the ungodly' at the moment. Would you consider working in a call centre."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

The Communicator

"Hello?"

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'I hate my life.

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"You can't say that to a customer!"