Call Centre Agent Gifts

'There is someone on the phone for you.'

"This isn't a sales call? Aren't all calls, in the final analysis, sales calls?"

'Those dang telemarketers have a knack for knowing exactly when we're sitting down for dinner don't they?'

Headphones Strip 11: Supreme Coffee

'You can always talk to us in person or over the phone.'

'Just stick to the script, Ravi...'

"We are currently experiencing high call volumes..."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

The Communicator

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"Stop whinging and man up!" "Our new AI complaints management system still needs a bit of work."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

"Hello?"

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'I hate my life.

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"You can't say that to a customer!"