Call Centre Agent Pillows

'There is someone on the phone for you.'

"This isn't a sales call? Aren't all calls, in the final analysis, sales calls?"

Headphones Strip 11: Supreme Coffee

'You can always talk to us in person or over the phone.'

'Just stick to the script, Ravi...'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

"Hello?"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"Stop whinging and man up!" "Our new AI complaints management system still needs a bit of work."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

The Communicator

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'I hate my life.

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Automated customer service.

Stress

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'