Calculator Captivator Gifts

'I couldn't do my homework because my pocket calculator had a nervous breakdown.'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Have you been working out?"

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

How to engage an audience

What luck!

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

Blaise Pascal

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

'We think it's time we told you - you were early adopted.'

Alternative Accountants

Dear Santa- Thanks for the awesome gift! p.s. did you know cellphones have built-in calculators? p.p.s. you suck.

"I can't believe I scored so low on my algebra test."

Watch Salesman

"Our clients like their accountants to use their 'imagination', but most would still prefer their returns in a spreadsheet."

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

Accountant job

'You have to learn arithmetic in case your computer crashes.'

' Pol Meeting'

People think accountancy is just about numbers, but there is also the fractions, the percentages

'I think that's right, but let me check.'

'You'll find that math gets easier as you learn how to use a calculator.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'This calculator is no good for my economics class. It has room for only eight digits in the read out window. We're studying the Federal deficit so I'll need at least fifteen digits.'

'1 divided by 9 equals 0.11' - '9 times 0.11 equals 0.99' - 'Mum! My calculator is stealing from me again!' - 'Go play outside, sweetheart.'

"... Maths? Isn't that what people had to do before they discovered calculators?"

'Forty two carry four...' - 'Please get your calculator fixed.'

"Sure, it seems glamorous, but nobody talks about the physical beating a number cruncher takes."