Audience Captivator Gifts

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

How to engage an audience

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Taking a peek at the audience

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

Nervous at a party.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

Man on Stilts in a Market

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

'Seriously folks...'

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

As Seen On TV

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

Armless chainsaw juggler.

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

"Sam! I've been looking all over for you!"

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

Next Train - Can you all come back tomorrow?

David Letterman

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

"Thank goodness they added more leg room."

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'