Cage Fighter Gifts

'The parrot died so I got a cage-fighter.'

Rage.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

Wrestling Champion.

The reluctant parrot

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

'I know it doesn't look like much, but have you ever been shot in the face with a p****d off cat?'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

'Look at it this way...you're like a big pop star! The hits just keep on coming!'

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

'He has a great left hook,'

'Such petulance!'

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists"

No hitting below the belt!

"...and forget your damn sensitivity training."

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

'Look out for his low punches.'

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

'Two cavities, that's not so bad. But I only have three teeth'

Man fights with his shadow.

"In the ring, kid. We want you to take a fall in the ring."

'You've got him worried. I think he's afraid he might kill you.'

'He was there when we left the dressing room.'

"Well, I guess that settles that."