Caffeinator Gifts

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Eternal Student.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Writers without borders.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'What's holding him up?'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Stacked coffee cups look like a spine. This is why the more coffee you drink, the easier it is to stand up and keep yourself awake."

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"How about a little more coffee?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Running Latte

'You've had enough.'

Coffee Menu

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'