Caffeine Chemist Gifts

'Brilliant formula? What cafe do you barista?'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Eternal Student.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

You've Had Enough!

Writers without borders.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'What's holding him up?'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"You're never home."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

National Coffee Day

'You've had enough!'

'You've had enough.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Running Latte

Coffee Menu

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'