Caffeine Chemist Gifts

'Brilliant formula? What cafe do you barista?'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Eternal Student.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

You've Had Enough!

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Writers without borders.

Law School teacher.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

'What's holding him up?'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"You're never home."

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Coffee Menu

'You've had enough.'

Running Latte

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'