Caffeine Alchemist Gifts

The Secret Formula in Coffee

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Eternal Student.

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

You've Had Enough!

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

Writers without borders.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'What's holding him up?'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'You've had enough.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

Coffee Menu

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'