Caffeine Alchemist T-Shirts

The Secret Formula in Coffee

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Eternal Student.

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

You've Had Enough!

Writers without borders.

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'What's holding him up?'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'You've had enough.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

Coffee Menu

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'