Cafeteria Combatant Gifts

Never declare a food fight on artichoke day!

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Cafe Burns.

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

Man from 'Environmental Health visits a caf� run by bugs

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

Biocafeteraologist

"Don't think you can just put the on the costume and replace Jeff."

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

"Five kids have signed my petition. We'd like to have vegetarian options on the cafeteria menu. To help, I've put together a few recipes of my own."

'Too late. The spelling test was first period.'