Cafeteria Chitchat Fans Gifts

I have this really bad itch on my net

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

"Yesterday's weenies have migrated in with today's nuggets."

"What's this on the menu?"

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

'It's called ‘Shared Risk.' You taste the Okra Casserole and I'll try the Tuna Surprise.'

"It's where I grew up, Diane. A sleepy little town where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and blogs about it 24/7!"

"Principal Gomez! What are you doing here? Don't you in your office."