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"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Come back, sir! "Leave room for cream" was a question, not directions.

'I've got threepence'

Cafe Menu: Freshly Strangled Chickens

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

"The French have a word for him!"

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

'I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.'

Eddie's Grill and Health Insurance.

"I'll have the spare rib."

Tina's T-Rex Tea Room

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Grandma's caf

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

National Coffee Day

Coffee Menu

'How would you like your toast?'

Coffee

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

Meanwhile at the Cafe de la Mort...

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.