Cafe Chatterbox Gifts

'Ridiculous, isn't it - now she's gone, I can't think of a thing to criticize about her.'

"Isn't it great how everyone's saying how air travel leaves a big carbon footprint? Now I can stop being depressed and instead feel self righteous about never being able to afford an exotic vacation!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

Moo Out Loud

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

The Exhaustive Bro Catch Up

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

'Cold hard facts are good, but to complete the picture, here's Brenda from the mailroom with some hot, juicy gossip.'

"He started talking yesterday. It didn't take him long to start a podcast."

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

"I figure if I don't have that third martini, then the terrorists win."

'Can't we ever just have a conversation?'

At Gossips Anonymous...

Time for Tea

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

"Who's up for some commercially successful music?"

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

Dog's hairdresser.

'That dress certainly matches your eyes.'

Verbal blogger.

Bla Bla Bla

'Freddie doesn't hold court here anymore. He moved to the Full ‘O Crap Tap Room and on up to the Wind Bag Martini Bar.'

"He's only boring at home."

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

'Do you get the feeling there isn't much substance in most conversations?'

"It was all that running around town buying diet books that achieved my weight loss."