Caddy Collector T-Shirts

...as you said, having the right caddy really does make a difference.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"I shop, therefore I am."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Golf with a difference

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Where's my horse?'

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'When I want your opinion I'll sack you!'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

Utility Chic.

Ladies' Game

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

Acme Flyswatters.