Caddy Collector Gifts

...as you said, having the right caddy really does make a difference.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I shop, therefore I am."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

Golf with a difference

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Where's my horse?'

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

Utility Chic.

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'When I want your opinion I'll sack you!'

Ladies' Game

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

James May

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

Acme Flyswatters.