Bytes Junkies Pillows

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

National Everything Awareness Day

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

"Siri, find oxygen."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"These kids and their shellfies..."

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

New hyper-realistic Star Trek

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

"It's the new self-driving model."

Internet Cafe

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

The manufacturer tried giving the virtual assistant a male voice...but it never listened to a thing you said and forgot anniversaries and birthdays."

I'd rather be phishing.

Books and Phones

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'Rap sheets! All the latest criminal stats! Get your rap sheets here!'

Four Stages of Communication: Tell, Bell, Cell, Hell.

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

Department of Pure Speculation.

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

I Heart Data

"We're too late - the zombie apocalypse has beaten us to this planet."

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."

Johnson & Johnson vaccine sales

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!