Bytes Junkies T-Shirts

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

National Everything Awareness Day

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

"Siri, find oxygen."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

Internet Cafe

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"It's the new self-driving model."

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

Books and Phones

Four Stages of Communication: Tell, Bell, Cell, Hell.

The manufacturer tried giving the virtual assistant a male voice...but it never listened to a thing you said and forgot anniversaries and birthdays."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

'Rap sheets! All the latest criminal stats! Get your rap sheets here!'

I'd rather be phishing.

Department of Pure Speculation.

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

I Heart Data

Johnson & Johnson vaccine sales

"Mom's left her phone here. We'll have to walk to the kitchen to tell her to get us dinner."

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"We're too late - the zombie apocalypse has beaten us to this planet."

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."