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I gave you the best bytes of my life!

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Big Data Tonight

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Remember when we caught small fish by the bucket full?' 'Oh, yeah! Those were the dace!'

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

Scientist seen on loch.

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

Off Off Off Off Broadway

Woody Allen

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Scrip Doctor

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

Statistics department with 'You are here (sampling error +/- 4%)'.

"Here we see the size of your portion, choice of toppings and cost per slice. If we're in agreement, I'll place the order."

'It appears to be a genuine bat-out-of-hell.'

Likes Charts Likes Pie

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

'Say, Dad - this story is the same as last night's story.'

'I got an 'A' in munitions.'

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

'It's one of those viruses that corrupt every damn thing.'

Trying on boots