Upgrade Junkie Pillows

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

Man feeding his computer money.

"Siri, find oxygen."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Primordial Schmooze

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

Internet Cafe

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"This is genius, Ted. We can't use it. Nobody will believe I thought of it."

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

"It's the new self-driving model."

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

'So that's his secret.'

'Hey! I've just had a great idea! How about a light bulb...?'

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."