Upgrade Skeptic Pillows

"It says they're upgrading their software to something worse."

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

I.T. Fear

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Man feeding his computer money.

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

Privacy

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"Tarzan no want computer."

Diner is served

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"