Buzzy Business Lover Gifts

'Sounds of the NYSE, 50c' on sale on a beach.

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Office temperature.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

Business Promotion.

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, NOW HIRING, 'Okay, you're hired -- now, I want you to forget everything you learned in pre-school.'

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

'One businessman's lunch-on-the-rocks and one businessman's special straight-up.'

"At the end of the day, Maureen, wake me up."

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"I'm appointing you head of marketing...your first job is to come up with something we can market...and to who??"

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

Board of directors of a baby products company suck their thumbs after realising sales and profits are down.

'I can't believe it! This is when I sent out a company memo advocating a win-win philosophy.'

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."