Buying Shares Gifts

"My mistake was buying shares in the company. I now worry about the lousy work I turn out."

The day the stock market went UP.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Selling lemon latt�

You can breed these if the environment is right.

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

No - None sense, take-charge, inc. - Formerly: Happy-go-lucky, inc.'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

'Could you be more specific than a king's ransom or an arm and a leg.'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Cards for all occasions: takeover, buyouts, mergers, flotation, bankruptcy.'

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

Predator, Inc bought Prey, Ltd

'Should our firms merge, which one will be the girl?'

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"You and your 'Go with the flow.'"

Shareholder's Meetings

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

Stock Exchange.

'Consider this an unfriendly takeover, if you wish, but takeover it is!'

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

High end of the market...

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."