Buying A New Plant T-Shirts

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'It's 'baa baa' here and 'baa baa' there, until I'm just about nuts.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

The Velvet Mesquite

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

Gardener

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Not here, Fred.'

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

The stuff of Legend.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? The irises clash with the roses! Peonies?! Here? What was I thinking? No! Not aphids already! Psycho gardening disorder.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

Private Jet

"I understand they've bought a dairy farm."

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

The not-so-living wall

Ocotillo

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

- whilst central heating is inclined to loosen their leaves."

'Jim finally got a fast bike. Now all he has to do is get used to it.'

I LOVE what you've done with the place!

'To be built on this site - Farm' - 'Confounded reactionaries!'

A man loves gardening.

Man halfway through growing a scarecrow

'I'm looking for a kingdom that is a fixer-upper.'

Red Tulip N-Power Plant

Face it -- you resent me for the exploring in depth a world that you take for granted.

'Great. You found my septic tank.'