New Property Purchase T-Shirts

'To be built on this site - Farm' - 'Confounded reactionaries!'

'I'm looking for a kingdom that is a fixer-upper.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"You and your 'Go with the flow.'"

Evergreen Estates

'And, as you can see, it is the perfect place to start a big family...'

"I've been working on the household budget."

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

Wait! It might be cheaper to just knock it down and build from scratch.

"I told you we should have got the smaller screen."

"Honey, relax - I brought the big umbrella."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."