Buying A New Property T-Shirts

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

When this is buildings we can say we remember when all this was fields.

"I'm looking for something with more closet space."

Evergreen Estates

"This building has been sold. If we have any questions regarding repairs or painting, we should call our new landlord, Namaguchi Reality. In Tokyo."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"I was hoping you had no more territorial ambitions."

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'I'm serving you with a schedule of dilapidation.'

A Small Castle and a Big Castle.

'We'd like some bubbly to help celebrate the Real Estate price bubble.'

Money feeds tree of property

Building for sale: Yes - it has been de-consecrated.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"First time pruning?"

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

I did it my way.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.