Buying New House T-Shirts

Welcome mat in front of unwelcoming home.

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

'It's a perfect place for an energetic young couple who are handy with tools and don't mind double occupancy.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"First time pruning?"

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

I did it my way.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sale! Weed Whackers

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."