Buying Homes T-Shirts

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

Bert wanders into an Alternate Realty...

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"First time pruning?"

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

I did it my way.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.