Buying New Home T-Shirts

"Whoa, someone's been doing some gathering."

'Oh gosh! What a shame! Our 20 year old set of dishes smashed to bits! Well, time to get some new ones!'

"You should've called me sooner!"

'I'm a homing-pigeon you see, but since I've invested in the property market, I'm confused as to which home to return to...'

'My favorite kitchen tool will always be the old fashioned fork moving automatically to my mouth!'

"Weren't you here last wash day?"

"Hal said he had big dreams...so he bought this bed."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"First time pruning?"

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

I did it my way.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Sale! Weed Whackers