Purchase Of New Home T-Shirts

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"First time pruning?"

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Tool Box

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

I did it my way.

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Sale! Weed Whackers

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"