Buying Property T-Shirts

Indian burial ground.

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

" ... well yes, technically this is waterfront property, but ... "

"This place, like the last one, has one big window that's also a door."

Piggy bank #4: factory.

Sell The Beach

"We're thinking about getting a little pied-a-terre in hell."

'In front of you, all you see is empty, useless land...'

"I did 'stop and smell the flowers' once. Then I bought them, cut them down, and put up condos."

I already own waterfront property.

It will fit nicely into my oasis!

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"Lots of what?"

"It looked bigger on Zillow."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Selling lemon latt�

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."