Property Purchase T-Shirts

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

"Sold his air rights."

Mouse real estate!

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Home Sweet Second Home.

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

Turtle Home

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'