Moving Into A New House With Plants T-Shirts

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

An old man growing berries

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Ode to a Grill

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Positively Petersham

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

Thanks

Money Plant.

Book Me!

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"You must have a green thumb."

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

Planting veggies

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

Weeds

"This one looks as though it could use a little nurturing."

Garden seeds - giant varieties

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

House plants

The Houseplant Cemetery.