Butter Skeptic T-Shirts

"Take a wild guess, butter boy."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

How judicious you are/How thin you spread it

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

Grocery Store - Warning: Contents may be hazardous to your health

"I dreamed that butter and sugar and eggs came back, and we all made cookies."

"Nothing says butter - like something from the udder."

What if he could be 'churned' to the dark side?

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

'At last conclusive proof sods law works - but only with a thick-sliced family loaf.'

'I can't believe it's not butter!'

"What would I have to do to be sent to my room without just the Brussels sprouts?"

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

"The chef recommends butter."

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

Corporate urban legends

"Is that your answer for everything...fold in a stick of butter?"

'I always considered myself more of a butter-fly'

"We met over the holidays."

'Do I like butter? I AM BUTTER!'

"Before I pass judgement on you, I would like to see if butter really doesn't melt in your mouth."

"Unsweetened has some sugar, lightly sweetened has a ton of sugar, and fully sweetened will kill you."

'Oh no, how do I tell them that I don't like Angel Food cake?'

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

Tills labelled 'regular', 'express', and 'why do you always forget the butter.'

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

"Man does not live by corn syrup alone."