Business Rescue Gifts

'I'm a private equity manager. I'm more of a rescuer of businesses.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

Sad businessman with sinking profits

"Our profits have been out-sourced ."

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up.'

'How dare you suggest that I'm running this plant into the ground.'

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

'Crisis'

"Does anyone have a Plan B?"

Business jargon : 'significant negative growth' translated into : 'we are dead broke !'

'Don't worry. I can still reach back for that 98 mile-per-hour fast ball.'

Fisherman Rescue

'How's the executive training program, going?'

'That leaves plan 'B' - absconding with the remaining funds.'

"We're replacing you with a much cheaper ferryman."

"Your business doesn't quite need forensic accounting, but hospice accounting might be in order."