Business Turnaround Gifts

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

No - None sense, take-charge, inc. - Formerly: Happy-go-lucky, inc.'

'All those who think change is good, say aye...'

"Our profits have been out-sourced ."

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"As a cub I got fed up with circus life, so I took a job in the mail room."

"I'm not looking forward to telling the 300 salesmen we're going to start selling on the internet."

'I need a change in my life. From now on it's all wheeling and no dealing'

'This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up.'

"I asked Bill to accompany this presentation with something in a haunting minor key."

'We had a leveraged buyout today, and I was the fulcrum!'

Business jargon : 'significant negative growth' translated into : 'we are dead broke !'

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

11 Ways To Avoid Chapter 11.

'I thought it would be appropriate to have a magician as we went down.'

"We're replacing you with a much cheaper ferryman."

The Cowards Way Out.

'Don't jump! The latest market sector bubble to burst is making a turnaround!'

'OK, I'll admit I have no people if you'll admit you have no people.'

'I hear we're heading for bankruptcy.'