Business Turnaround Expert Gifts

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

'All those who think change is good, say aye...'

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

Acme Corp - In business since 1927 BG. 'The 'BG' stands for 'Before Greenspan'.'

"I'm not looking forward to telling the 300 salesmen we're going to start selling on the internet."

'We need someone who can turn this company around in a hurry.'

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

'I need a change in my life. From now on it's all wheeling and no dealing'

'Meet Charles, the office 'old-timer'. He's been hangin' around stock tickers, water coolers, copy machines, and now laser printers for 40 years!'

"You don't mind us shadowing you, do you?"

The man who finally got his account in the black

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

'We had a leveraged buyout today, and I was the fulcrum!'

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

"And then one day, I had this revelation: Why not go public with my non-profit business and start making some big bucks?"

11 Ways To Avoid Chapter 11.

The Cowards Way Out.

'Don't jump! The latest market sector bubble to burst is making a turnaround!'

"Your lease is up" threatening letter.

'Back in business sale, after going bust the last time.'

"Hi, I'm the efficiency expert you hired, and... Oh, heck! -- I forgot my briefcase again!"

'I'm a private equity manager. I'm more of a rescuer of businesses.'

'That's just a warning to lay off the cream-filled doughnuts and start getting some exercise,'