Business Pun Lover Pillows

Mergers or acquisitions.

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

"The idea for the name came to me after listening to my clients on their cell phones. They all claim to be results driven."

'I thought this was supposed to be a hostile takeover.'

'Fridge Magnate'

'Take me to your CEO.'

"I'm taking him out to do his business."

"It's all about presentation. Drizzle something on this idea and the boss might not realize it's half-baked."

'I'm sorry, sir, but your businessman's lunch was lost in all that Enron confusion.'

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

"We're a very, very old firm."

'Your ad says you need someone to clean out a bank. Do you want a janitor or a CEO?'

To the grim reaper: 'You may go in now.'

Take the elevator to the fourth floor. The financial marketing group is meeting in suit 401k.

Desk reading 'The buck stops here' next to another reading 'The bucks stop here'.

"Things are picking up..."

I like you and I like your company!

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Spot the difference.

Boss's Desk Says No!

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'