Financial Pun Lovers Pillows

'We can't go on meeting like this. I'm losing too much interest.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

I like you and I like your company!

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

In case of falling markets break glass.

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

To the grim reaper: 'You may go in now.'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Mergers or acquisitions.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

Federal Guidelines

'I know you're new to upper management, Hoskins, but here we don't catnap...we power nap.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'