Economic Pun Enthusiasts Pillows

'The spending in this stimulus bill is one thing, but whose crazy idea was it to put pork in it, too?!'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'I know you're new to upper management, Hoskins, but here we don't catnap...we power nap.'

'It's a retrospective of Bernanke's most obtuse economic jargon...'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

'Your investments aren't under performing, they're just appreciation challenged.'

'Consider it a bun deal.'

Leprechaun finds EU bail out at the end of a rainbow.

'Let's not overreact. We're just in solvent, not bankrupt.'

'This is what I call the ultimate in money laundering.'

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

'Activist investors are here to see you and they're wearing boxing gloves.'

'He said it could be about 45 minutes, due to the global economic slowdown.'