Financial Pun Lover Pillows

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

'You're what we call 'high risk'.'

"Just preparing your books now, Gentlemen."

Boom. Recession. Depression. Stimulus.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'Activist investors are here to see you and they're wearing boxing gloves.'

As the silence drags on, Karl regrets his choice of financial planter.

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Your investments aren't under performing, they're just appreciation challenged.'

"Actually, it was my accountant who suggested I should get into stocks and bonds."

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

'This is what I call the ultimate in money laundering.'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'guess you know your pet is causing our competitors to call us their fat cat competition!'

'Our shares are so low, they're all ended up in the Isles of Wight.'

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'Carson came to us from a hedge fund.'

"I don't care if I am subject to identity theft. I've got a huge overdraft."

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

"Since throwing money at the problem isn't an option, how about throwing IOUs?"

'Now that I have your attention...'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Loan Alley

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Jumping Wall Street.

I like you and I like your company!

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'