Business Pitch Perfectionist Gifts

"I practiced my networking elevator speech on an escalator, which messed with my timing."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Hanging off every word...

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'