Business Optimizer T-Shirts

"I can't see the POINT of all this emphasis on 'customer care'!"

"I have some ideas on how to increase productivity, improve employee morale and save the company thousands of dollars a year, but I need this job."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

Supply Chain

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

'You may have three mergers.'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

"Business has been steady."

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

"What I want from you, is a big budget event with a low budget, budget."

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

"Hurry up with that cork!"

'Office real estate' lifting weights

Derision/Leader/Respect

Resume Advisor. I'm not sure "internet troll" is a resume enhancer.

"I'm from the small business administration...have you ever considered franchising?"

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'The way I see it, we only have two choices, we either improve the quality of our product or we hire some really great sales people.'

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

Rudy, we're going to have to cut expenses. We already did that, boss. I don't think you're clear on the concept, minion. It's a way of life. Did you read one book and then never read again? Did you listen to one song and then never listen to another again? Did you kiss someone once and then never again? Cutting expenses isn't something you do just once. A good businessman cuts expenses constantly. Whether he needs to or not. You trim the fat. When you run out of fat, you trim the nerves and the