Bill Optimizer T-Shirts

"I am changing my energy supplier...plug this in."

'They've redesigned the gas bill to make it clearer and easier to understand!'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'Office real estate' lifting weights

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

'The way I see it, we only have two choices, we either improve the quality of our product or we hire some really great sales people.'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'Poor me. . . pour me a drink!'

Rudy, we're going to have to cut expenses. We already did that, boss. I don't think you're clear on the concept, minion. It's a way of life. Did you read one book and then never read again? Did you listen to one song and then never listen to another again? Did you kiss someone once and then never again? Cutting expenses isn't something you do just once. A good businessman cuts expenses constantly. Whether he needs to or not. You trim the fat. When you run out of fat, you trim the nerves and the

"I've just been spiffing up my image a bit."

"There was a lot of tension between his ergonomics and his feng shui."

"Warren serves as my aggregator."

'I'd like to investigate your tax return.'

"When the dust settles we're all going to be very dusty."

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

Business restraining law firms

'Let's try to improve our workstations even more.'

'Since I'm an ornithologist, this means we can deduct the electric bill.'

'First, the office walls went, then the ceilings and floors and now, well, here we are.'

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."