Bill Optimizer Pillows

"I am changing my energy supplier...plug this in."

'They've redesigned the gas bill to make it clearer and easier to understand!'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'Office real estate' lifting weights

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

'The way I see it, we only have two choices, we either improve the quality of our product or we hire some really great sales people.'

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'Poor me. . . pour me a drink!'

"Warren serves as my aggregator."

"There was a lot of tension between his ergonomics and his feng shui."

"I've just been spiffing up my image a bit."

'I'd like to investigate your tax return.'

"When the dust settles we're all going to be very dusty."

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

Business restraining law firms

'Let's try to improve our workstations even more.'

'Since I'm an ornithologist, this means we can deduct the electric bill.'

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

Santa's budget reform...