Tax Optimizer Pillows

"Of course I didn't throw out all the receipts on purpose, and how was I to know we were going to be audited."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

Miss Pike, send a memo to all members of staff.....Economies must be made.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audit Section

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"Taxation, meet Representation."